Showing posts with label News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label News. Show all posts

Monday, January 23, 2012

Breaking News: Breaking Bad is About Drugs




AMC has earned critical praise and a sizable fanbase for its family drama Breaking Bad, the name of which I’m guessing refers to some kind of brownie recipe. The show is about a high school teacher and family man who teams up with an enterprising former student to make money through a bake drive, with violent results.

Recently though, Televised Bucketry has uncovered a shocking development : what Malcolm’s dad and Jesse are cooking is not cakes or pies or a nice lasagna, but an illegal drug known as crystal meth. To get to the bottom of this, I sat down with an important Hollywood insider.


Me: It’s time to come clean. Is it true that Breaking Bad is secretly about the manufacturing and selling of drugs?

Important Hollywood Insider: There’s nothing secret about it. The show focuses extensively on the drug trade. I don’t know how you could have possibly missed that.

Me: What about when Malcolm’s dad baked a pizza and threw it on his roof?

Important Hollywood Insider: He didn’t bake that pizza. You need to pay more attention when watching.

Me: I think a lot of people would buy pizzas from a good cook like Malcolm’s dad. Everyone was saying great things about his hard candy. Malcolm’s dad could start a pizzeria, Skyler could be a waitress, and Jesse could wash dishes. Then every episode would end with a heartwarming life lesson.

Important Hollywood Insider: Would you stop calling him Malcolm’s dad? Bryan Cranston is a fantastic actor who won three Emmys for his performance, and he deserves respect.

Me: I don’t know, he didn’t act like any chef I’ve ever met.


Shocking news, indeed. What remains to be seen is whether Breaking Bad’s fan base, who were drawn to it from the start because of its old-fashioned values and appropriateness for the younger set, will stick with the show now that it moves into such dark and morally questionable territory. Is a show about drug dealers something that you would let your children continue to watch? Sound off in my comments section and let AMC know how you feel.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The Breaking News as it Breaks: There Was a Terminator TV Show





Televised Shawn here, bringing you the latest news as I find out about it. This just in: a conversation with an important Hollywood insider has alerted me to a Terminator television show, which came out back in 2008.


Me: You know what would be cool? If there was a Terminator TV show where John Connor and his mom, they fight Terminators with the help of another Terminator, only this time the good Terminator’s that weird chick from Firefly.


Important Hollywood Insider: They already did that a few years ago. It was called Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Me: Oh.


The implications of this breaking development are enormous, renewing my hopes for a show about the adventures of a young Indiana Jones.

This has been The Breaking News as it Breaks on Televised Bucketry, bringing you the most
up-to-date information on the news stories that impact your life, provided those stories are
television-related and I know about them.

Friday, December 23, 2011

The Weekly News This Week: The Playboy Club still cancelled




Rumors in Hollywood abound that The Playboy Club is still cancelled and will be for the foreseeable future.  When asked whether or not The Playboy Club would be uncancelled, a source inside Hollywood said, and I quote, “No.”  Among the dozens of fans of the plucky TV drama, however, hope remains that he will change his answer to “Yes”.

In other TV news, Twin Peaks still doesn’t make any sense, Gilligan still hasn’t gotten off the island, Family Matters is still a spinoff of Perfect Strangers, and The Kardashians still isn’t being watched by me.


This is Televised Shawn with The Weekly News This Week, delivering the news you need for television survival every Friday on the dot.  Unless I forget to do it, or I just don’t feel like it.  Maybe I didn’t get out of bed that week, or maybe I have a life that doesn’t revolve around you.  Or maybe there isn’t any news to deliver, did you ever think of that?  News doesn’t grow on trees, people.

Or maybe I’m trying to deliver the news, but I get chased away by a knife-wielding maniac and settle for riding my bike through an obstacle course.  Or maybe someone else delivers the news before I get the chance, but seriously?   Get your own damn blog.  I don’t march into your advertising firm and draw your talking investment baby for you, so don’t post my news.